Bent out of shape

 September 23, 2020

 Momma is bent out of shape, and me, well I'm right there with her and just plan disgusted.  It all began with the arrival of a postcard in the mail addressed to Dad.  In fine print, so they could fit all the info on the card, was a scavenger hunt list of items he would need to bring to the Florida Licensing location to renew his drivers license, including a website to visit for more info on the items that would be accepted. Yep, Momma spent time checking that out as well.  Now his birthday isn't until December, more than two months away, but it appeared they were trying to give him ample notice and time for the scavenger hunt to occur.  

Momma took on the task of gathering the items, some required to be original/not copied items and some items printed at home.  After all, who gets bills in the mail anymore.  Everything is on-line.  So....sign on to the website for a bill that has Dad's name and address, send it to the printer....ooops.  Printer off line.

That issue occurred because of power surges that flicked the power off and on about 3 times which in turn mysteriously reset the modem/router to factory settings after all the repeated jolts of on/off power.  That was a whole other time consuming issue.  

So I think you get the idea, there was quite a bit of time spent following the procedures to ensure Dad would be able to get behind the wheel legally and drive me up and down the highways on our adventures.  

Except....when he showed up with his fist full of items, the clerk took one look at his current license, saw the 'star' and informed him that his fistful of items weren't needed.  But she did take the time to look at them and relish in the fact that someone actually had everything in order...which she said doesn't happen as often as she would like, even though he didn't need any of the papers.

So why did they send that card stating all that crapt would be necessary?  &^%$**   Yep, Momma's efforts and time put into the scavenger hunt were totally wasted.  Do you realize that I sacrificed good, quality playtime/ball tossing/jug chasing time?  All because Momma showed me the card that said this was important and we wouldn't be able to have road trips.  I didn't even bug Momma to play with me.  I was demonstrating such patience that anyone would have been proud of me....and for....something that wasn't even necessary!!!  I can't even begin to describe how disappointed I am at losing all that quality time.  Jeepers creepers.  Let it be known that 'Chloe's playtime matters!'  Time I will NEVER be able to make up, even if I run twice as fast, which really isn't possible because I ALWAYS go ALL out when it is playtime.   I feel abused by the incompetent system that shouldn't have even sent out that postcard to Dad.  They could have at least added a statement that if you already have a star on your license, the scavenger hunt isn't required.

And there you have it....the whole tale of woe and disappointment.  Please send sympathy.....

I'm Chloe

Dog house is crowded

 September 2, 2020

The dog house is a bit crowded now because Momma is IN the dog house.  It seems Dad put her there when he discovered, horror of horrors, that he was wearing his underwear wrong side out.  Now you may wonder how Dad's underwear situation had anything to do with Momma so I'll have to back up a bit to explain.

As some of you are aware, Dad decided it was time to participate in one of those Golden Years Opportunties....namely....shoulder replacement.  It took place on August 11th and he has been known as the one armed man ever since.

If you have ever injured an arm/wrist/hand, I'm sure you can identify with the fact that some tasks that you would perform withoout a thought now become a chore that can benefit from assistance.  

I have tried to assist Dad but he won't even let me near his arm at this point so it has been left up to Momma to be the assistant.  Now I'm not saying she has to totally dress Dad, but her extra help makes the task so much simpler, until she held the underwear for him to step into .....WRONG SIDE OUT.   

You may be thinking that with the extra work load of doing all her tasks as well as Dad's that Momma decided to lighten the laundry basket by getting two wearings out of the briefs....one day for each side.  But I assure you, it was just a case of weariness and lack of attention to detail.  And male briefs, unlike female knickers, have a definite right and wrong side that becomes very apparent as the day progresses.  I mean, Dad couldn't help but notice the issue.  Ooooooooooops!!

It may look like Dad was given

a bionic shoulder.  Dad says it is nothing like the bionic arms in the movies that need no healing time and work like a charm from the get-go.  His surgery is called a 'reverse shoulder replacement' that was necessary as his rotator cuff was basically shot.  A ball was installed where the cup was, and the cup was installed where the ball was and the deltoid muscles will be strengthen to give him full range of motion after physical therapy.  

Dad was wondering if his surgeon was a football player at one time.  Doesn't this pic remind you of lacings on a football?  The stitches have since been removed and the 'seam' is healing nicely, but still a bit raised on his skin.  I think they call that a Golden Year trophy.

There was a big celebration at our house a few nights ago.  Dad gave up the trusty recliner and was actually able to lay down on the bed for the first time since the surgery.  Momma propped him up with pillows to support the arm, keep him from rolling and cocoon him so he wouldn't do any harm to himself accidently rolling in the night.  Well, that was a disaster as all it did was build body heat and wake him up in sweat.   Dad doesn't tend to flop around like a fish out of water during the night so he really didn't need all the cocooning after all.  No, she didn't make it back to the doghouse for that event.

Physical Therapy began today.  Dad had a week to get ready for the big event.  His surgeon had given him some at home exercises to work with.  Being an over-achiever, he was in great shape for his first evaluative session and scored high on the charts.  Now, don't be disillusioned, the chart is set up for how much range of motion is typical for 3 weeks after surgery, not for performing everyday tasks with ease.  Dad still isn't allowed to hold anything heavier than a coffee cup in his left hand.  

Doc also gave him a present at his post-op appointment. 

Now he even resembles a football player.  That's a shoulder ice pack.

And Dad told me absolutely NO chewing on his ball that blows up the apparatus for a formed fit.  He also got another nice round black exercise ball to squeeze that he won't let me near.  Dad, you know how much I LOVE balls.  Can't you share with me?

Even I have noticed a big improvement in his independence level since he came home from the hospital 3 weeks ago.  He can easily scoop up my doggy cookie treats so I can enjoy coffee break with him.  And......seeing as he still has good use of his right arm, he can still toss my ball for me!!  Go Dad😍

Things are getting back to the norm here slowly but surely........

I'm Chloe